It has taken a few days, but things seem to be getting back to normal at our house- just in time for it to go haywire at the Rice's. Dania will have knee surgery tomorrow. Both Ed an I are just exhausted today and we haven't done anything. I feel like half the blood has been drained from my body and I can't even get out of my own way.
I felt pretty crappy in the middle of the night last night and then once I was awake, I could not stop re-playing the events of Wednesday. I have critiqued and torn apart everything that I did. I wish I had acted faster and more decisively, but at the same time, I know that if I hadn't done the things I did, the outcome might not have been so positive. I finally found myself standing in his room just listening to him breathe. It is a beautiful sound.
Reed doesn't remember anything from hearing that they were administering the first dose of morphine to when he woke up in the ambulance. What a blessing that is for him. I almost wish I could say the same.
But, if I didn't remember, I couldn't learn. I'm not sure what the lesson is for me from the events of the last week and month. I know that I have taken more time to just sit and watch TV with my boys and to try to really pay attention to the stuff they are into. My house is a mess. We've eaten a lot of fast food. But we are all still here and we are all happy.
A friend of ours, Rialeen Peck, died this week after a hideously long battle with pancreas cancer. She was given blessings and miracles to see all of her children married, but she did not make it to see the birth of her grandchild which is due later this month. I missed the funeral because I was playing nurse, but I hear it was wonderful. She was well loved.
Yesterday Ed and I took a Concealed Carry Weapons Class. It was not the first time we had taken it, but I feel a lot differently about things now than I did 10 years ago. I also went to Gunnies and bought a new pistol. I ordered it a couple of months ago. It is a Ruger LCP380 with Crimson Trace laser. I'll have to go shooting sometime soon.
Now I need to go to bed. The exhaustion is growing. I hope I'll be back to normal in a couple of days.