I have been studying Henry B Eyring’s talk “O Remember,
Remember.” The end of the year seems
like the best possible time to reflect and remember the events that have
occurred. 2013 was a big year. We had several high stress events as a family
and I think I may have learned some lessons.
I learned to enjoy each
day.
In October Reed had his wisdom teeth out and stopped
breathing on the way home. It was the
closest we have come to losing a child and it reminded me that there are no
guarantees. We should live in the moment
and enjoy every day because that is what we have. Since October I have been much more in touch
with the Spirit and I have lived with a much more grateful heart. And. . . I cherish my family even more.
I have learned more
patience.
There have been days and weeks and almost a whole month this
fall where I have not been able to do the things I wanted to do when I wanted
to do them. Caring for Parker after his
surgery was a lot of work and I was tied to the house- but having a hernia and
being forced to lay low before and after the surgery was something new for
me. Notice that I did not say “I have
become patient.” It is going to be a
process.
I’ve let some of the small
stuff go.
I learned this in two ways.
The first was through Colby and Danaca’s wedding. As the mother of the groom there is very
little that you can influence and I had to stop worrying about the details
since they were not mine. I am still
struggling with the fact that I am no longer involved in their lives in any
significant way. That is a real learning
curve. But I am working on it.
This has also occurred to me in another way as I have served
on the Relief Society Activities Committee.
For the first few months I was worried about having everything be
perfect, but then I realized that was not the point. Some of the other ladies on the committee are
still obsessed with perfection, but as I observed at the meetings what I saw
was that the women in the neighborhood needed time to connect with each other. If there was a treat and decorations, lovely.
. . but that was not the point of the gatherings. In our busy, rushed world many of us are
craving connection.
I’m learning to bloom
where I am planted.
I have been very frustrated over the years that I only ever
have music callings at Church. I have
known that I needed something different for the sake of my own growth, but I
finally decided that I had been given a gift for the Lord’s use and I was doing
what the ward needed me to do. I have
had a lot more fun since I decided that I was probably going to be choir
director for life. And then suddenly, a
few weeks ago I was called to teach a Sunday School class- just what I
needed. But I was NOT released as Choir
Director. And that is just fine with me.
I’m learning more
about obedience.
The general conference session in April was all about
obedience and that made me think about my level of obedience. I have been a little haughty and a little too
enamored with my own power. I tend to
rely on myself. A few months ago I took
a dumb little online quiz about which religion I should be. I answered the questions very literally based
on my understanding of the words used and it came out that I should be an
Episcopalian. That really threw me for a
loop. (Dumb, huh?) It made me question my values and my
understanding of Gospel principals. I
went back to the basics in my own study.
I am trying to be more obedient to God’s commands. . . except I am not
there on giving up Diet Coke yet.
I’m learning that I
need structure.
As the mother of a child with ADHD I have understood his
need for strict structure, but it took me longer to understand that I thrive in
a structured environment. This last year
I have tried to impose more structure on myself by planning and scheduling time
for certain activities. In August I
started making myself do an hour of gardening each Tuesday morning. I do not really enjoy gardening because I am
always afraid that I will encounter a snake.
And I wasn’t enjoying Tuesdays because I would dread going to City
Council. I lived in fear of
conflict. As it turned out, the
gardening helped my stress level AND the back yard started coming into
submission. I like the FlyLady’s ideas
about scheduling house cleaning. I love
having a Sunday School class to help organize my own scriptural study. I don’t want to get carried away with imposing
structure, but I think that I need a part time job to help fill my days, give
me more opportunities to serve and provide a little more structure to my life.
I hate resolutions because I always break them. This year I am devising a new path for
myself. I have decided upon a theme for
2014 and the theme is “Hands.” It has
gone through several transformations in my mind over the past week, but I think
I have finally settled on this simple one word theme. I want to focus on how the Lord touches my
life and how he can use me to touch the lives of others by being an instrument
in his hands. Last night at FHE Reed
suggested that we should all have a project to go along with our theme somehow. Mine will be photos of people hands doing
things that touch my life.
I am excited for 2014.
I wonder what I will learn?
z
-l
shn)