The Real Bat Girl

Note:  If you are a devout environmentalist, squeamish, or you accidentally pee when you laugh, please stop reading now.

OK.  You are still here.

On Friday Ed and I were at the cabin. . . alone.  All the kids were on Scout adventures, so we took the opportunity to go build the new railing on the deck and stain it.  We worked hard and didn't bother to eat anything except a couple of leftover Krispy Kreme donuts.  This could account for our behavior later in this tale.

Our friends Ron and Julie FOggin came down to unwind and go out to dinner with us.  This sounds relaxing and uneventful, huh.  But no.   We had a lovely chat about our kids and dogs and parades and obnoxious bands with the initals of W.J. and then we dove into a fierce game of hand and foot.  When you are sitting at the table in the cabin, there is a lovely view of our bird feeder.  Unfortunately, the chipmunks have found the feeder.  Ron tapped the window to scare the little guy off and he just looked at Ron and went right back to eating.  We were all stunned by the critter's brazen attitude, but it was too much for Ron.  He grabbed Parker's pump action BB gun, opened the window a crack and continued playing.  After about 20 minutes Chippy showed up at the feeder.  Ron picked up the gun, took aim (all the while sitting in his chair) and beaned the critter. 

By this time we were all laughing hysterically. . . especially when Ron buried Chippy. . . complete with a cross grave marker.  For those of you who enjoy gore. . . we were amazed at the clean shot and how the little intestines came right out.  Wow.  I guess that qualified us all as rednecks!

Not too long later we had moved back into the living room area when Ed noticed something moving up in the top of the cabin.  At first we thought it must be a mouse, but then we realized it was a bat.  Three out of four of us were standing, staring up at the roof with binoculars.  They don't work super well inside at fairly close range, but it must have been a funny sight.

Since Ron was all warmed up, he loaded the BB Gun and went up to the loft to get a close range shot.   

He shot the bat and all of a sudden it came flying out.  Julie and I screamed as it swooped down.  It was quite a scene.  The bat landed on the top window sill in the front of the cabin.  There are pretty large cracks and crevices in the sill and the bat went down into one of them.  We figured he was dead, but then we started seeing movement.  While surveying the scene, Lewis licked my foot and I screamed again like a little girl.  Then everyone was laughing at me.  Once I got my breath back, I was OK.

Julie just could not imagine leaving the bat up there, so Ed and Ron got the ladder while I kept watch on the flying critter.  Julie donned a surgical mask and two layers of procedural gloves.  I just about peed my pants when she announced that she was doing that because "Hey, I've read The Hot Zone and I know the importance of double gloving."  I, too, have read The Hot Zone, so I knew what she was talking about.

If you haven't scared yourself silly worrying about Ebola, you should.  Here's the link: The Hot Zone

Here she is gloved, masked, and heading up the ladder to do battle.

The tools of choice at the beginning of the adventure were two pairs of tongs.  About the time that this photo was taken, Julie started screaming "He's alive!  He has his mouth open and he's hissing at me!"  We were all laughing like fools by this time.  It was clear that more lethal tools were needed, so Ed put the dogs out and Ron handed her a BBQ fork.  After a few more exclamations an hisses, Julie stabbed the bat.

"I got him!  I stabbed him right through the mouth!"

We were all terrified that she was going to fall off the ladder if the bat flew out at her, so we were glad it had been stabbed. Dead.  But Ed was laughing so hard that he couldn't breath and he had to go outside.

She hauled the bat out of it's death hole using the tongs and climbed down until she could drop the little rat with wings into a cup.  BTW, what do you think of this stunning chandelier?  When it is on it makes the cabin look like it is on fire to the casual observer.  I will replace it one of these days and then I'l either sell it on ebay or host a blog give-away!!!

After the  bat was hastily done away with, we all washed thoroughly while we were still laughing uproariously.  My stomach hurt from laughing so much, but finally hunger had set in, so we headed to Mt. Pleasant to eat at Rodger's.  We laughed all the way there and halfway through dinner.  It was just a confluence of crazy occurences that set us off.

What a fun afternoon!  We hardly ever see the Foggins, so it was great to catch up.  Next time we get together, I am sure that we'll have another good laugh!